My husband and I have gotten into a bad habit. We get our 2 year old twins to bed, one of us does something with our 5 year old and the other starts vegging. As soon as our eldest is in bed, the other joins in the vegging. Sometimes we watch a recorded show we like to watch together. Sometimes we clean up the house. But more often than not, we each read our own screens of work or interests and almost fall asleep in our separate over-sized seats. We are exhausted working parents of three young children. It’s grueling, and yet we are grateful for it. On our last date night we talked about some goals. We’re great at talking about it, but execution is difficult when we have so much empathy for each other. In this case, empathy is holding us back. Instead we need accountability and some tough love. We want to be healthy with our eating and be more active. We’re hoping it increases our energy and our overall vigor.
Our marriage is not on the rocks. We communicate. We check in and spend quality and intimate time together regularly. We have just gotten in a time suck. Can you relate? I think many of you do. Two working parents, demanding work days, parenting at night, households to manage, the list is endless in feeling and in reality!
Unfortunately much of our overwhelm takes a toll in the romance department. I know that the struggle is very real, but I aim to win most days. I know at the end of the day, I want to lay down next to my husband, not my husband or co-parenting extraordinaire. I want to be that cute old couple that holds on to one another while walking in the frigid Midwest winter. But with acquaintances divorcing after 15 years of marriage, I know I need to put effort into BEING Married, not just checking a box on my medical forms.
Marriage is not a noun, but a verb. It’s daily.
So how’s a woman to have the career, the house, the children, AND the marriage?! It’s not one pill. I hope you’ll keep coming back to read more, but ultimately it starts acknowledging your marriage is part of your day to day. Every day.